Am I being too "ridiculous" and "overprotective"?

Question

hello ladies! my daughter has a congenital heart defect and we leave to go across the country for her cardiac catheterization follow up. she had her first open heart surgery one year ago today and they need to look at how everything looks. the issue is that they won't do it if she is sick and she has to be healthy for 4-6 weeks before the procedure because it isn't emergent. knock on wood she has been healthy for the past 6 weeks. we do everything we can to protect her normally because her getting sick can be dangerous: constant disinfecting, make everyone use hand sanitizer, no one can see her if they are sick or have been around anyone who is sick, etc. however now that it is less than a week from her procedure (on Tuesday) I'm getting nervous and I have been extremely cautious with her lately. I am basically quarantining her, my husband and I are working from home today and tomorrow (I work from home every day except Thursday anyway), I made my husband shower and change his clothes as soon as he got home from work Wednesday, I went grocery shopping last weekend alone and stocked up, I am completely eliminating all non essential trips to public places, etc. we are still having the nanny come (they have to wash their hands) and things and we will be flying commercial so not full quarantine but as much as possible. the issue I'm having now is that my husband doesn't agree with this. her heartiversary is today and our normal date night is on Friday and he wants to go to the liquor store to get some drinks to celebrate because we ran out. to me it isn't worth it and I asked him not to go. we don't need drinks and I had planned a nice home cooked meal tomorrow. he thinks I'm being ridiculous and overprotective especially since we still have the nanny coming and will still be taking her to the airport... while I agree that it would be better if we didn't have to do those things, we need the nanny so we can get work done and not get fired and the flight we can't get out there any other way... I'm trying to cut down on her risk but is it "too much"? what do you ladies think? am I being too overprotective? pic because she is adorable ♥️

Answer

While I do understand where you’re coming from I think it’s a little much. The liquor store thing. I don’t see why he couldn’t have gone and came back. Taken a shower, sanitized all his stuff BEFORE coming into contact with you or the baby. He wanted to celebrate! You still gotta live & enjoy life! Y’all sound like you both know the drill when you go outside your home.  It’s a scary thing to know any little sickness can harm your child in a tremendous way but you can’t live in a bubble forever & it’s not healthy for your relationship. 
If anything you coulda sent the nanny out to grab some alcohol. 
Anyways, i hope all goes well with your daughter!

Answer

also for those of you who think I'm being too overprotective if you can comment on why that would be helpful! thanks!!

Answer

My daughter has chds too! Shes only 7 months and thankfully hasn't had heart surgery yet they said its working as of right now! Anyways i totally understand the germ thing and i honestly would be mad at him trying to put her at risk right before her needed surgery! 
Honestly i wouldn't drink id be worried about my daughter. 
(My daughter also has a sleen problem so she has to tak antibiotics to keep her from getting sick)

Answer

my 9 yr old has a major chd too and her doctor always told me we cant put her in a bubble that her body needs to learn to fight off germs. of course dont bring her around someone with a flu but always encourages us to take her out in public.

Answer

No. I think this is a natural response, you’re afraid and you’re trying to protect her the best you can. I’m sure when you get some positive news you’ll start to relax a little but now you do what you feel like you need to do to keep that baby safe, even if it’s extreme even if it’s irrational, you’re taking care of the things in your control for now. Hang in there mama 💗

Answer

I don’t feel like I can comment on most of the behavior because I don’t have first-hand experience with this sort of thing. However I think that you should explain to your husband that while you guys have date night regularly, she only has this one doctors appointment once. And so if he could support you emotionally this one date night and not go to the liquor store that would be great.

Answer

I understand that she can't get sick for 6 weeks before and the Dr's appointment is important but it kind of sounds like you need to relax. You've definitely taken every precaution seriously and done really great but one date night is not going to hurt anything. I know most people think It's nonsense but you being stressed is not helping her. I've worked in medicine for 7 years and I used to work with sick children and every time one parent was stressed or upset they could sense it even without anything being said. Relax. It'll only benefit you and her. And you're right she is adorable!

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i also can totally see where you’re coming from, but it’s a little much for sure.

Answer

I understand where you are coming from. The appointment is obviously really important for her health and it would suck if she got sick and had it all be delayed. 
But I still think you need to chill a little. You all need to still be able to have fun. I don’t see how a quick trip to the liquor store is an issue.. and he can shower and go through the whole routine when he gets back.

Answer

Maybe see if you can get it delivered and the wipe stuff down?

Am I being too "ridiculous" and "overprotective"?

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