What to do 😔

We got engaged in January. His sister and my brother got engaged a few weeks before we did. His sister set her date this November. My brother set his date this September so out of respect we set our date next year May 2019. Well things happened and we sold our home and are now about to build our dream house..... the only problem is we can’t go VA unless we are married. He can’t get the home alone this time. So we gotta get married. Both our families know this for the loan. They also know our date so we assume they know we gotta go ahead and file our license. Well he’s upset about that because we will be married but won’t be “official” for another 6 months after we close on our home. My question is, is it rude to have the wedding before November or in January now? Oh my brother broke his engagement off so it’s only his sister getting married in November. He thinks it’ll mess everyone up if we did this.... (I went from planning an elegant wedding to us doing something out of a movie, informal, casual, easy breezy covergirl 😂😂😂 simple and intimate... this is two years overdue and keeping we are married a secret and having a huge fancy wedding months later is silly to me.... but out of respect if it’s rude to change the date to two months after his sister or 3 months before his sister then we will keep May 2019....(I was starting to have doubts about May once I realized how HOT it already was this May. I NEED HELP!