I'm just going to start off saying that I believe in second chances, y'all are going to understand why I say this in a sec. This is going to be a little long for u guys to understand everything.

I have a husband, we have been together for almost 6 years now. This man and I have been through so much, I could write a book and still wouldn't be enough pages to fill in our story.

Through out the years we've been through ups and Downs emotionally. and the hardest battle I had to fight was 2 years ago. We were going through a really rough patch. Communication was gone, he was distant and seemed uninterested and careless. I started noticing the signs. I'd try to get him to talk but ww would get nowhere because it'll go straight into an argument

So I went into this shell and distance myself away from him. He started acting very weird and would dissapear at 3am or won't come home from work. I would call and call but he wouldn't answer and his excuse was always that he was with the homies and left his phone 📱in the car 🚘..🙄😒 I wasn't stupid I knew there was something he wasn't telling me. Until one day

We arrive at home and I go straight to the mirror, on the counter next to my mirror was an eyeliner of some bitch he was messing around with. I asked him and he denied it of course but I continued until I broke him and he told me everything. He was obviously having an affair.. 😷😢 I was 💔heartbroken and didn't know what to do. We finally put all the cards on the table and I told him if he is not happy with me then leave. His reply was "I would be trading a diamond for a rock if I leave u for her" ..I know what y'all thinking leave him he don't deserve me I know... but hey I clarified a couple things and I forgave him (I belive in second chances part here 🖕) but that doesn't mean I forgot.

Now here is the thing, I think back to some of the small conversations that we did have and he used to talk to me about her. He used to tell me how all the guys wanted to flirt with her and holla at her but she wouldn't give any of them attention. He used to say he doesn't give any of the girls "pussy passes" or any play at all. He usedto tell me how cool of a person she was. I also remember one night when he asked me what would I do if I found out he got some other girl pregnant. This didn't raise alarms because he was talking to me and I trusted him at the time.

Its been really hard to get over this and I can continue to tell u guys in detail of how fucked up the situation got because t didn't just end when I found out. It's a really long story.

let's fast foward a little...

This year has been very different. Our relationship has improved a whole lot. I felt like we finally had a heart to heart conversation that open up doors we both locked. We came to an understanding that we are gonna make this work. He realized how badly he fucked up and he wants to continue to work on it. He says hes been distant for numerous reasons. and I also told him how insecure I felt since that happened etc etc.. Since then, he hass been very open with me. Tells me literally everythingggg! He's affectionate in his own way.. coming from a guy who is very reserved and is not emotional at all.

We are doing good so I think.. u know..

When we are talking and he has been mentioning some girl from work lately. First he told me she was bad (sexy).. and I'm like cool. I'm not tht crazy to quickly assume anything. Yesterday he mentioned that she was wearing some clothing that was very revealing and he told me he even said it out loud "damn, she's bad".. I'm like hmmn okay.. w. e. he never mentions her name, oddly. he says "the short Mexican girl" ..thats how I know about her. Now today.. 😪 he starts talking about work and he is telling me how all the guys give all the girls at work so much attention that they feel important and they walk all over them but he won't let them he says he don't five them any attention. but then he makes this comment that made me uncomfortable. He says "oh I told this niggas, stop making this girls feel important, all this girls here ain't all that except for the Mexican girl, and she at least carries herself correctly not like these girls here and she gives no one any play" he also continues "she just finished school and now is going to college" I looked at him and I asked him "you talked to her like that? " he says "I mean a little, yeah" I'm like oh okay he's like " what now u getting jealous " I said" yes I'm sorry it makes me a little uneasy because u over here making it seem like she's the baddest bitch in the world and now u being friendly". and he says "it's not even like that. " ...he says that at least he is telling me this thing and he feels comfortable enough to do it but in the other hand I don't do that. I told him I don't find anyone at work attractive and why would I say that u knw. He says that he's gonna introduce me to her so I can see for myself that she's bad. (I'm bisexual)..

we ended the conversation there and honestly idk how to feel about this. a part of me is like chill is not that serious but a part of me is bring up the past and it feels like is sorta repeating itself again. I just hope is not. I told him that I'm afraid he might give her to much attention and he says is non of that to relax...

I know I'm gonna get a lot of comments of how I should have left him in the first place. and asking what did I do when I found out. the matter is that I'm here now. and need real advice, not just a leave him.