no judgement please but I'm going crazy!

so I've been talking to this guy since I was 16 (he was 30 at the time) and I caught feelings for him. He didn't want to date because I was a minor so we stayed friends. Because I'm me I mentioned it again when I was 17 and he told me he wasn't interested in me. Again a year later when I was 18 I mentioned it again and he was interested but he didn't want to. (Forgot the v reason but yea) I told him that I was tired of mentioning it and getting rejected so we made a deal that if he wanted to date he'd tell me. During these three years He sometimescalls me babe and calls me beautiful but he says he tells all his female friends that so like whatever. And tonight he said "I'm going to bed goodnight babe 😘" and he has never done kissy face before in these three years I don't want to read too much into it but at same time ughi don't know what I'm trying to say with this post but I guess I just needed to rant my fusteration