Crazy one night stand what do I tell my bf???

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now we were taking a break for a while when this occurred. My best guy friend of 10 years has always been rough with me and would flirt with me and there were always rumors of us having sex when he never had even kissed before this one night when he invited me over to smoke, he said he felt bad for me and wanted to make me feel better. I know he’s in love with me he bought me a car a few months ago... So I went to his house and he ended up inviting some girl he met on tinder over and we were all blowed watching a movie and he kept touching and grabbing ALL up on me when this girl wasn’t looking and he would be holding her hand and shit for a minute then get her to grab him something and be touching on me and I didn’t really stop him. He thought the girl fell asleep at one point and was pulling my butt on him wanting me to grind on him and so I did and he kept putting my hand on his dick and moving my hand for me making me rub on him then he told me to not make a fucking sound. Turned me around and ripped my pants off.. that girl was laying on the other side of him without a clue as to what was happening behind her. Without me having a chance to say anything to him he shoved his dick up me. I didn’t stop him I wanted it at that point and I don’t know why. I do love him but Im in love my boyfriend. He didn’t fuck me for long he didn’t kiss me at all on the lips only my neck. As soon as we stopped we realized that girl wasn’t sleeping and we didn’t know what to do so he told her me and him were gonna go get coffee and we left. When we walked out of the house it was like normal we were best friends and we just did some funny as dumb shit but inside I was hurt and had a million questions to ask him but couldn’t form the words. When we got back to his house the girl was gone so he told me he wanted to fuck again but he still wanted to take it slow and to save the rough shit for next time. I laughed it off and let him fuck me for a few minutes but I couldn’t stop thinking about my boyfriend so I told him I was too tired and I just wanted to go home he walked me to my car and I drove off sobbing. I told my boyfriend and now he doesn’t trust me but we are back together. He made me block my friend since we’ve been back together and has been even more controlling. they both want to fight now and I can’t live with my self if they fight. My boyfriend thinks he raped me because he didn’t ask if I was okay with it in anyway and cause he didn’t kiss me. I don’t know what to make of it. Please help!!!