Broken

- Ladies , I’m going through some rough patches in my marriage ! I’m so broken , when I was 13 I was molested by my step father . At the time my mother didn’t believe me ! She told me I wanted attention . 🤦🏾‍♀️ The sexual abuse carried on for a while , he would make me lay down while he would do what ever he wanted to do with me ! At first I battled with it being my fault , till this day I have issues with it . I think it’s ruining my marriage , I have so many trust issues ! And it’s soooo hard guys , I’m so broken and things in my marriage have gotten terrible from it ! My husband cheated on me in the past and he has been trying to recover from it , but his doing that has triggered all of that back up .. simply because I feel like that little girl that’s not in control of her life any more ! I asked him if he still loved me and he said he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t . But , I don’t understand why he loves me ! I’m such a fuxked yo person , I’m not worthy ! Some days I just feel like committing suicide ! If my mom didn’t want me why would he , I’m sorry ! I just need to vent , I know it’s not my husband fault that something so terrible happened to me ... how do I get over the molestation , how do I love me ?