Fear of intercourse

My wife is scared of intercourse, reason being some painful infection in childhood and exposure to stories of rape and pain during intercourse. We area married for more than 4 years now and till date we have not achieved penetration. Consulted gynecologists as well, but they said try doing using fingers first. She is afraid of that even. I am so much frustrated that I no longer have desire to have intercourse with her. I want to help her in all the way I can but to no avail. And we desperately need a baby now. PLEASE PLEASE ANY HELP OR RECOMMENDATION WOULD BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED.