Still crying myself to sleep

It has been almost 8 weeks since my missed miscarriage, i have know about the miscarriage longer than I knew I was pregnant. Some days I’m okay I look to future and I am TTC again. I even laugh and smile again like the old me.

But some days are so god damn hard. Last night I was laid in bed and felt some weird movements in my tummy I think I was just hungry and could only think I would have been almost 18 weeks pregnant by now and I would have been feeling my baby kick or some sort of movement and that was ripped away from me with no fault of my own. So once again I cried myself to sleep.

My partner is supportive he understands why I’m still upset but he doesn’t really understand emotions I think he may suffer from autism. I’ll cry he will cuddle me but he doesn’t know how to say anything encouraging about the future.

Right now I feel like I can’t breathe I’m devastated and I just want my baby back. When will it ever get better. Surely I have no tears left to cry 😭