Ttc for 2 years

Supposed to start af today and I'm pretty dead set on giving up this month if I'm not pregnant. The devastation and tears is to much and I'm jus tired of the disappointment. So far things are lookin good I usually start first thing in am but no sign of af no cramping or bloating, have had massive neausa some time getting sick all this month, my boobs are untouchable cuz of the swelling pain, i cant eat enough pickles and been drained of energy. Trying to wait a few days to take test I'm so impatient tho it's ridiculous. Jus really hoping this is our month cuz we want it so bad. Baby dust to all the ladies out there trying extra hard too!