I think I’m having a chemical. It’s the first time i conceived i want something to remember this month .

Is there any ideas of what i can get to remember this special month . I’ve tried for a year and it happened but I’m going to loose it very very early. My lines never got darker and now they aren’t noticeable. Last two are the ones from today the rest are from 2 days ago . This is so upsetting I’ve been fine the whole day told my self i wouldn’t get upset. But now i find myself to be getting upset .