My parents don’t care?


I feel as if my parents really don’t care about wether I’m happy or not, it’s always been “ how much does that make?” I was told cosmetology school is a waste of money. That “ playing in makeup gets you no where..” now this morning I got told off because I haven’t passed my typing exam for a job I don’t even want, my dad is a police officer and got me a job up at the police station but I have to pass this exam and I’ve already told him I can’t, I’m ADD and I have depression. So I can’t even pass the mental exam to get in after I pass the typing test.

Whenever I want to do something for myself it’s “ I’d rather you do this,” “ we won’t pay for that.” I just want support and maybe an “ im proud of you.” I feel like a failure and my depression has gotten really bad in the last 6 months to where I told my mom I wanted to go back to therapy on the family insurance, “ you don’t need it, you have it good.” But not having a job and being talked down on everyday has been fucking awful.

My younger siblings are all accepted into college with letters of recommendation and honors, so I hear about “ why didn’t you try harder.” “ maybe if you cared about your studies..”

I’ve gotten to the point where I am not even 20 yet and I hate myself, I feel like a failure and my family severely doubts me. I don’t know what to do.