How do you get excited?

Brittany • Married💍 1 amazing little girl 7-9-19🤱🏽

How do you let yourself become excited after multiple losses? Two ectopic, first one was treated with methotrexate and I was sent on my way, this last one which caused emergancy surgery and my right tube to be removed was 5-15.... tomorrow will be exactly 5 weeks post op, and I just got home and thought “what the hell” and tested... I got a BFP... I should be jumping for joy, yet I’m now only terrified...