My Story. Warning: Long Read


My husband and I have been trying for a baby for 2.5 years and it's been a hell of a ride. The timing, the lh strips, the trying....and then the waiting.....the wondering. For 2 long weeks you start to pick out every sign. "Maybe I don't have the flu" "Am I hungrier than usual?" "Maybe these cramps are pregnant cramps" "Maybe I'm just spotting?" and then the realization hits. You aren't pregnant. So you cry, get angry, hate the world, hate yourself all because you didn't do it. Your body didn't take that sperm and turn it into something beautiful. Something you've wanted and prayed for for so long.

In all of this, I have come to realize, the most beautiful thing is not those two lines, but the man standing there next to you. Even though the test is negative and your eyes are puffy and you never want to get out of bed again, he's there. Hes loving you, supporting you, holding you when you just need to cry.

The second most beautiful thing are those two lines. I have had the opportunity to see them 3 times during all this. Back in December of 2017, March of 2018, and again this week, June 2018.

2 nights ago, I thought it was over because I was heavily bleeding just like the times before. I cried, I hugged my husband and sobbed. And then I got on my knees and I prayed my heart out. I told myself that God creates miracles and that I still had a chance. Yesterday morning my midwife came and drew my blood to test weather or not my hcg levels have doubled. Those two hours of waiting for the results felt like the two weeks of waiting for a positive. She called and it was confirmed, my levels doubled. As of today my bleeding has stopped and my baby is still in there growing. I have made it to 4 weeks and 3 days. My rainbow baby is here and I know it took a miracle. We've past the hard part. Now looking forward to the pregnancy ahead. ♥️♥️

With God, all things are possible.

Keep your heads up ladies, Miracles happen.