DO I MISS MY EX???? IS THIS CHEATING??!!

Lately me and boyfriend have been going through something, well I have. I’m tired of being the person making all the money , constantly focused on supporting us and our life I never have time for me. And I just can’t help but think how much fun I’d be having with my ex, how much better the sex would be, and how we’d be on the same page, I know I don’t love my ex. And I know he doesn’t love me, but we did share a mental connection. The ONLY connection me and my current boyfriend doesn’t have. Which is the reason we argue , but again since I’ve been noticing how messed up my life is right now, I keep thinking about how my being with my ex would seem so much easier, more exciting , And I’d feel better with him....What is going on? What do I do? And what is this?