My husband and I are just celebrated 9y of marriage but I just don’t feel he’s into the relationship and me anymore. I’m losing hope that we are going to make it.

We didn’t have our 3 kids last night so we went to dinner. I had a headache all day which he knew about. He also knows I have terrible anxiety that I take meds for. We went to a restaurant that was overpacked and extremely loud and I convinced him to leave and try somewhere else. We went to a pizza joint the block over, not as crowded or as loud but still enough to make me almost burst into tears and plan my escape out of the back door .. but I held my own and didn’t say a word to avoid any arguments. We came home, I took some Tylenol and laid down in bed wrapped in my comforter to calm my nerves around 8:15p. Not once did he check on me! He watched TV and played on his phone in the living room. I got out of bed around 10 to get a drink of water. He asked if I wanted to watch a show which I agreed to. After, we both came to bed and he continues to play on his phone until after 2a and he doesn’t say a word during this time and I’m silently crying laying next to him. He turns off lamp and rolls over. I get up, take another dose of anxiety meds and break down like a blubbering mess in the bathroom and eventually make it to the living room, where again he just ignores everything.

He gets mad at me when he wakes up and he finds me on the couch. He makes breakfast for him, sits on couch, and I head to bedroom to avoid a fight .. where agin 3 hrs later he gets mad at me because I am ignoring him.

We have been in this back and forth fighting stage for 2 months. He refuses to call a councilor which he said he was going to do. With 3 children and busy schedules we only have sex 3-4x a year. I try to have a standing date night the last Friday of the month as I made arrangements with my mom to watch the kids overnight. We grab dinner somewhere, usually late (7:30-8) and then home because we are exhausted or he decides to go to work the following day at 9a.

Has anyone else been through similar? Ideas to try to get back on same page? Should I just break ties and move on? I’m so lost and confused. I don’t want to be sad and broken anymore but don’t know how to salvage my marriage to any part of what it used to be. 😔 I was planning an overnight in July but don’t know if I want to waste the money now.