May be a long story....

Me and my fiancé have been together for 5 years. He has an older son and we added two more boys along the way.

His older son has problems (ADHD, ODD, PTSD, severe depression, & Sexual impulse Disorder) we have been through the ringer with this child. We have full custody. His mother doesn’t have anything to do with him. He’s treated me awful all 5 years. Calling me names, hit me, doesn’t listen, plus more. But I’ve stayed and I’ve raised him to the best of my ability.

Our other 2 are spoiled brats. They don’t listen, the get into everything including sneaking in the kitchen while we’re asleep and busting eggs all in the kitchen floor.

We’ve gotten ourself in debt so i got a job that i really like to help out. He wants me to quit. We’re still broke but we’re getting there. He works 80+ hours a week to provide for us. Struggling paycheck to paycheck.

I’m explaining all this to show the stress on both of us. Plus we both suffer from depression.

We’ve been together 5 years and I’m so scared of him. Not physically but mentally. His reactions. I’ve never sang or danced in front of him, i still try to wait til he leaves to poop. (TMI) He just yells and gets mad a lot.

His favorite thing in the world is playing video games. But he puts in before his family. He HAS TO have either his phone or a controller in his hand 24/7 or he’s yelling. I complain about it and it’s a huge fight and “me overreacting”.

He cheated on me a couple years ago. Shattered my whole world. It still bothers me. I’ve never cheated on him never had any intent to but recently been accused a lot. I figured it was because a guy at work thought i was pretty. He says it’s because i want to drink sometimes and I’m being distant and trying to make plans with a friend (a girl) that i haven’t gotten to hang out with much. All we do is argue, I’m to the point where I’m just miserable. He never gets sleep so he’s always aggravated and yelling. e wants to be with his friends drinking and partying without kids (I’ve told him to go) i went to the movies with friends and found a babysitter 3 months ago and he’s throwing it in my face that i never have my children. Unless I’m at work, they’re attached at the hip.

I’ve begged him to leave, he won’t. I’ve begged him to understand, he won’t. I’ve begged him to help with kids, he won’t. I’ve broke down crying telling him that i need mental help. Nothing happens. I do love him with all of my heart and i don’t want him to leave. I want to fix our broken relationship but I’m not sure how anymore. He says everything is my fault. I know i get upset about no family time and the games but idk what I’m doing wrong.

Help.