Seriously done...

I feel like I’m literally failing my daughter. I should have never left her dad. I should have stuck by his side and let him run all over me. He only cheated once I should have just stayed. I shouldn’t have ran to an attorney at my earliest convenience. I should have just stuck it out. Now she’s going to grow up with divorced parents. She will never know what it’s like to have both of her parents in a single home. She will never know what its like to have both of her parents at her main events. I’ve failed her. I just couldn’t take the abuse anymore I was tired of wondering if I was even going to survive her dad. I’m literally in tears because her first birthday is less than a week away. She’s spent half of her life without both of her parents by her side. Most nights she stayed at my parents because I just couldn’t stand to look at her without having a mental breakdown. I really don’t know what else to do. I have no love for her dad no matter how many times he has begged for me back.. I’m tired of being told I’m such a shit mom for “ruining” a great family. I’ve known her dad since we were 13. Been together since 16. Married by 19 started a family at 20 and ended it all at 21. I’ve always dreamed of a big happy family but here I am failing my first born. I hope she never follows my foot steps. I hope she stays in college, doesn’t get married too young, and make a happy healthy family. I don’t want her to fail as an adult as much as her mother has.