Pan? opinions?


(I’m 15 years old) So growing up I always kissed girls, maybe because we were just kids, but I liked it. Then when I went through my “emo phase” I claimed myself as pan because I’d like to believe that I’m open to anyone no matter their identity. But I never really had crushes on girls. I think it was because I never truly excepted that that part of my life is different. Through this I’ve had sex with girls and guys. I love having sex with girls because it’s so sweet and more passionate. Rather with guys it’s all about getting it done. I have never been in a relationship ever so I have never had that experience. Before anytime ppl asked I would tell them I’m pan without hesitation (or bi cuz it’s easier to say.) but the last time someone asked ( a month ago ) it really got me thinking. I never had a crush on a girl and never really looked for them like I do guys. But Ik I like em. Then I told myself that it’s okay to have crushes on ANYone. After that I had a dream where a girl liked me and where I called a guy hot. That changed everything. When I see posts on Instagram with pretty girls I react the same as I would with hot guys. (This happened within days) now when I think of telling ppl I’m pan is gives me butterflies. And telling my mom 😅 I wanna tell her cuz I’m for sure now. But I’m scared. Before, when I thought about it I didn’t really care and blew it off. Now I want her to know but then again I don’t. I need opinions!!!!