Giving up 😞😔

I had my 2nd child a week ago, my first child is 19 months old...

I want to give up already I’m so tired and super depressed just crying everyday my doctor is aware of this already and i have to be put back on my depression medication since I’m no longer pregnant. For some reason I feel like something died.... like I miss when it was just the 3 of us... me, my husband, & 19 month old. I feel like crap for even saying that. I look at my newborn and feel so sad & I don’t want to feel like that toward him, this is suppose to be a happy time for me & it just isn’t . I don’t even want to go out or be around people. I don’t want to have the hassle of taking the baby out and have to worry about feedings and crying. I feel like s*** for feeling this way toward my newborn. I know I don’t mean to but right now I just can’t help it. I just want to give up already, having to wake up every like 1.5-2 hours every night is hard and tiring. I really don’t know what to do. Now I feel like we should’ve waited to have this baby, I don’t want to say I regret him... but I don’t know why I feel this way toward him. Even when he came out of me and they placed him on me I just instantly felt this guilt... 😞😔 I hate myself right now. I don’t know what to do.