I'm trying to decide what to do. I'm trying to decide what day/week to do my ultrasound but I'm nervous because I haven't decided whether or not I want to know the sex. I know for a fact I won't be telling anyone for fear it could make it to family and they all really embrace gender stereotypes and honestly im just not ready for that and I want to get useful things at my baby shower instead of bows or new born "shoes". Ive maintained that I don't care what it is and so it doesnt matter and honestly it still doesn't, but I'm having a very hard time bonding with baby even though I've had 2 prev ultrasound and felt them move and picked out clothes and names. I felt much closer with my other pregnancies. I just don't feel anything right now and I think it may be from experiencing losses. But I wonder if knowing just something about them might help?