Emotional rant

I wish I could talk to my bf about this. Or I wish I had friends to talk to about this. I wish I could talk to my dad but he is only going to use it against me. I keep so much pain inside of me it aches my heart everyday I find myself looking down and crying so easily everyday it really doesn’t take much. My boyfriend is not someone who knows how to love or care for me. I think I cry too much for him. I’m too emotional for him. I’m want to talk things over too much. I over analyze situations. I make up how he is feeling in my head. And he has messed up and I’m very hurt about it not sex but he has talked to someone behind my back. I don’t know what to do we are supposed to be getting married in less than a month and I am in a very deep depression. He is going through just as much as me if not more and right now we are picking up new jobs and everything is so hard on us right now. I just want to talk to someone my family isn’t here for me at all.