When your partner struggles with addiction after a miscarriage

It started about two years ago we decided we were going to try to have kids and I’m always told that if you’re not at least trying for a year the doctors won’t help you so we tried for a year then I went to the doctor found out that I have mild dysplasia/pre-cancer cells on my cervix the doctors told me that it’s possible it could go away all on its own since I’m young but I should get checked out every year to make sure I consider myself a pretty reasonable person and I don’t want my boyfriend back and doing the things that he wants to do drinking hanging out with the guys I don’t care as long as he is responsible August last year he came home at 3 o’clock in the morning just drunk out of his mind needless to say things escalated a little bit because I have to be at work at 5 o’clock in the morning I was going to go sleep on the couch but he got mad and pushed me and then it was a screaming match and then he took my car keys and kicked me out of the house during an argument over the phone that early morning and we try to accuse me of having like some sort of disease when that’s definitely not what it was and then also told me that he was disappointed that it took me so long to go to the doctor and it was horrible it was really horrible the next morning he didn’t remember anything I couldn’t even look them in the eye for two days i forgave him he slowed down on drinking. Around Thanksgiving we finally got pregnant however it turned into chemical pregnancy and we miscarried. that was really hard on both of us. fast forward to March 2018 the weekend after his birthday he went out with a friend that was OK I got off work he wasn’t home and that was still OK and then it was like 8 o’clock he was not at home and then it was like 11 and he had sent me a text saying that he was on his way about 1130 I hear screaming outside and it’s him losing his mind he was really mad at somebody and I was going outside to help him and he backed me into the house and told me that he wasn’t mad at me he wasn’t trying to be mad at me and that I needed to leave him alone. So I go back into the house and I looked out the window and saw him pouring gasoline on his car I walent to go back outside and he came inside and looked me in the eyes and said that he can’t deal with it anymore he can’t deal with this and he’s going to kill himself and I just needed to deal with it. He told me I need to pack my things and move back to Indiana. he went upstairs hugged my grandma Told her that he loved me and he didn’t want to hurt me or her and that we needed to leave and then he destroyed our home. The cops came and they took him to the mental hospital he was there for four days he doesn’t remember anything in the first thing you said to me when he got out was that he was never drinking again and it’s been really hard for him being sober he was doing AA but then he started working more. We got into an argument since this is happened because he stresses out about work he stresses out about me and my emotions with everything that’s happened and during this today argument he relapsed because he wanted to and because he was stressed out to me that’s just a bullshit excuse if I didn’t love him and I don’t want to be with them I would leave most of our problems start it and ended with the miscarriage and I’m just really lost on what to do..... We’re trying to work things out and I love him with all my heart but it’s like I can’t stop thinking about it the what if’s and what wills I’m in therapy I think he needs to be in it too but I don’t know has anybody went through a similar situation like this and what did you do? EDIT 1 # we have been together for four this August.... I know I am not superwoman I know I can’t save him I know he has to do it on his own I know I’m having the issues I’m having because of what happened