Is this weird??

My ex bf emotionally abused me and left me broken and hurt. Instead of hating him and being angry I'm just disappointed and confused. I know he's depressed and has a hard life but that was no excuse to mistreat me the way he did.  The weird thing is that I still care for him and want the best for him although I'm hurting so badly. I should be angry but I'm not.  Idk if it's my feelings still there for him or what it is. We are not on speaking terms so it's weird that my feelings are like this. Is this normal?