So my SIL (my husbands brothers wife) is pregnant and due January of 2019. My husband and I have been ttc for almost a year and I am actually scheduled to see a fertility dr this month. When she first told us I was heart broken since she had just started trying, and only wanted a baby cause she found out we were trying and she wanted to be first. (My husband and I got engaged and married first and to her it’s all just a competition ) plus it will be the first grandchild for my in laws. When she told us she was pregnant she then proceeded to rub it in that I wasn’t yet and told us to “just keep trying it might actually happen some day, you never know.. I mean we didn’t even try that hard and we did it” all while knowing that we’ve been struggling. Needless to say it hurt. She and I have never been close and my husband doesn’t like her either. She’s always acted very petty towards me.

Anyways they just announced it to everyone else and seeing their announcement just made those feeling come back and I’m really just feeling defeated by our infertility. I want to be happy for them and excited to be an aunt again but my own issues and pain is keeping me from being able to. My friend suggested that I throw my SIL a baby shower for our side of the family to help with my own feelings and to feel apart of it all.

(She went through similar feelings with her SIL only she gets along with hers and she and her husband aren’t currently ttc (they just always thought they’d be first ) but she said that doing that helped her with dealing with all of her emotions. )

I guess what I’m looking for is for different opinions on whether you think that this might actually help or will it just make things worse. I mean hopefully by that time I’ll be pregnant too ...but who knows. What do you think?