Husband doesn’t know I’m on birth control

I’ve been married for about 6 months now. I come from a culture where I should be pregnant by now but I’m secretly taking birth control. I haven’t told my husband and when it’s almost time for my period to start, he gets all hopeful and tells me to take a pregnancy test. As usual, it comes out negative and he gets sad and asks why we haven’t been able to conceive. I of course know why but I just go along with him and act sad. I feel horrible for deceiving him.

I just don’t feel like we are ready to have a child yet. I want to enjoy my marriage and get to know my husband more. We only knew each other for 4 months before we married. So maybe that’s why I still want to wait.

My mother in law is always asking why I haven’t gotten pregnant. I feel pressured to get pregnant but don’t think it would be fair to the baby if I got pregnant to please others because I know that I won’t be happy with the baby. My husband really wants us to have a baby soon. He even keeps track of what days I’m most fertile and he will stop having sex with me few days before ovulation just to make sure he will have a lot of cum to increase sperm count

Am I being selfish in taking birth control? Like it’s my body, and I’m going to be the one taking care of the child so I feel like I have the right to decide when I should get pregnant but I also feel like I’m taking away his right to have a baby. Please any advice would be very appreciated. Thank you