feeling down

I'm feeling really.down today I feel like because I was the only one out of 5 kids who got the worst of everything I got sent off got bashed because my parents thought I was sexually active at age 15 they threw a fit over it but yet my youngest step sister gets pregnant at age 13 no one batted an eye when that happened I was sent off for 2 1/2 months for protecting my self from my step mom cornering me I missed the holidays because of it and because I was torn between my mom and dad when they got divorced literally they was playing tug o war with me and ended up getting my arm ripped open by the door because of that I could go on and on but I'm not ...I feel now because of all this stuff I can't more forward it's like everyone has forgotten all about it all and because of it I can't enjoy my life I'm constantly depressed and having anxiety being around ppl even family and I think also it's taking a toll on my marriage ive tryed therapy but I can't get into it I feel like I have to repeat my self and it takes.way too long in between sessions I wish I could just wake up and be happy