Heavy Bleeding

Sooo about two weeks ago I had a huge bleed. I soaked through my pants and sweatshirt and at the hospital SOAKED 4 more huge blue pads. It was a lot. By a miracle, baby was (and still is) ok but there is a huge hematoma surrounding the baby. And this is my second bleed, I had one, but much smaller, at 5-6 weeks too :( I have been checking the heart tones, Baby is still in there, but I know it’s 50/50 whether the pregnancy will continue without complications and it’s just... so crappy. I want to be excited about this sweet baby - I’m so in love - but at the same time I don’t want to fully commit to the idea of bringing home a full term baby in January in case the worst happens. I also don’t feel safe announcing anywhere throughout. I just don’t know. One bright spot is we got cleared to do the NIPT finally and my husband and I decided to find out the fetal sex, which we weren’t going to! Just need some good news and to feel a bit extra connected with this sweet miracle baby. 💕💙 Anyone else facing an uncertain outcome?

Ps: does this look like a boy? I’ve been saying girl but that might be wishful thinking! I have 1 son already :)