Broken, help me please


For starters, I hate myself, my body the most. But what 16 year old girl doesn’t?? I just wish I could lose this weight but it seems so impossible. I feel like if I could just be skinnier, my problems will be solved... one of my neighbors told another one of my neighbors that if I were skinnier, he would “go for me”. I know it’s disgusting and I’ll never associate myself with him but it still makes me sad... a few months back I lost touch with two really close friends (one I had a crush on, still do) and I’m still hurting from it. Everything that went down was so out of hand and unreasonable and I was left with so many unanswered questions. I can’t help but feel that if I were skinnier, I’ll be prettier, and fit in better. So that way these people will still want to be friends with me, and maybe the other will like me back. I feel like I can never truly be happy again unless I can be with these people again. They are my people, like my soul mates or some shit and I miss them everyday. I’m so fucking broken and all I want to do is lose this weight so I can be confident. 16 year old girls are not supposed to weight 185 lbs!! At least not me. And now I have a friend telling me how she gained ten pounds and now weighs 145, what I would give to weigh 145!!! I want my life back, I want to be happy. Please help me