You know when you have been hurting so deep inside, too often? I’m feeling it right now. That burn, the pain that never goes away.

Let me explain, I’ve been cheating on for a months. He cheated on me few times. As every couple, as every family, we had our hard time, the last one was “too much for him", he felt “lost” as he said to me so he cheated 5-6 times with the same girl. I have nowhere to go. For a while, I have to stay home, with him. He still is “lost”, he doesn’t know if he wants me or if he wants to be alone.... every time he change his mind I feel completely lost. I even lose my shit one time or two.

Every single time he’s giving me false expectations I feel hurt, even more each time. After all that, I tried to believe in our couple, that we could save our family... I guess I was wrong, I’m still the only one to make efforts so I’m giving up, I’m giving up on him (even if I have to stay home), I’m giving up on us, I’m giving up on love.

Is there someone in this world truly happy? That goes to sleep every night and feeling happy about everything in his life? I feel like it’s not something I will have with someone. I rather be alone for the rest of my life than being in a break up again.

I’m sick of love, is it made to hurt people’s feelings? Sorry if I hurt someone, I need to tell my story and feel less alone in all of my pain....