Wedding guest attire?!?! HELP

Question

Hey yall, i was recently invited to a couple’s wedding. It is at a vineyard in the afternoon until around seven. In the invitation she stated that the attire is “black tie optional”. 
Now i know for women it is virtually the same as “black tie” (long formal dresses in colors that dont stand out too much). But we live in a very country/rural area and i feel like our take on “black tie optional” will be a little toned down. But i dont know her family and his family is from a more urban setting (a coastal touristy city). 
Sooo what do i do??? I dont want to show up looking like a bridesmaid! But i also dont want to be underdressed. Should i go formal or less formal? Or do yall know of a good happy medium? 
Does anyone have any good suggestions?

Update: I talked to my friend who is also going and she says she expects it to be a step below prom. Please leave a comment or a picture if you have an idea of what i should wear! I will post pictures in a month after the wedding!!

Answer

I would actually contact the bride or her bridesmaids and ask. Or contact another guest and see what they might be wearing. State it just how you did here that you don’t want to show up super formal but also don’t want to look like a bum compared to the rest of the guests.

Answer

I would wear a knee length dress! Perhaps in jewel tones? It would look good in either situation.

Answer

I would always err on the side of more formal. You could do something full length but not overly fancy?

Answer

Don’t contact the bride! She is probably super overwhelmed already. I would contact perhaps her mother or a sibling though, someone close to the bridal party but not *the* bride. My mom had lots of people ask her what to wear for my wedding :)

Answer

Hello I’m happy to help as a guest of the wedding, black tie optional means to wear something formal, not prom- ish but stylish. Which means you wear floor length dresses, or tea length, and men wear suits, or tuxedo suit with tie or bow tie. 
The best way to pick out a formal dress is to go to your local retailer like Macys or Nordstrom. And ask the sales associate to help you pick out a dress. Also you can go online and look at ( Rent the Runway) click on summer wedding guide and click black tie dress and whatever choices that you want such as color,  dress length etc. You  can rent a dress and have it shipped to you. If you are on a limited budget. 
I’m including examples as to what to look for: since you are a guest you can pretty much wear anything that is formal. You can do either long or short dresses. What ever that you are comfortable with. And choose the colors that you want. Just remember with your date if you want him to match as well make sure that he gets a dress shirt, ( tie, bow tie) to compliment your dress. Good luck and have fun.
- former retail sales lady. 😉🌸👸🏽👗👠
 
 PS. Make sure that you get the proper shape wear to polish off your look. And accessories such as clutch, jewelry, optional Shaw. To finish your look.  Lastly setting spray so that your makeup stays in place for pictures. 
From Macy’s:

Rent the Runway:

Wedding guest attire?!?! HELP

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