Am i a horrible person?

Question

Didn't know where to vent this and I don't have anyone to vent to!!! My best friend of 14 years recently started working with me. I work with only women and every other year 4 of the same women get pregnant together at the same time and give birth a few weeks apart. I've worked there for 5 years, been trying for 6 so seeing this can hurt sometimes. My friend found out she was pregnant 2 months after starting. Yesterday we held a baby shower for her, I made her her favourite cake and spent so much time and effort making a pamper goody bag, she enjoyed it and appreciated it. The thing is, as soon as she left, I broke down. I've had enough, enough of watching everyone else get pregnant, carry that pregnancy and then bring their babies up when they're born. Halfway through the baby shower another colleague told everyone very loudly that her and her boyfriend of 4 months are " finally going to start trying for a baby ". I don't want to go back into that building, It feels like my stomach is being ripped into two facing people at the moment. I've recently had ovarian drilling surgery and it hasn't worked, I feel awful for not jumping around clapping about everyone's good news :( I also feel awful for plastering on a fake smile! I just can't do it anymore.

Little edit: The main thing that gets me down is watching these women sitting in front of me smoking whilst pregnant, telling me how lucky I am that I can have a drink when I want and how much they want their periods back :/

Answer

You're not a horrible person, you're an amazing friend to have made your friend feel really special at her baby shower. I'm sorry you're feeling so much pain and I hope your time comes soon. It's easy for other people to take for granted what has come easily for them. Maybe some councilling would help you, it can't be easy faking your emotions every day. Do you have any friends that don't have babies that you can spend more time with outside of work?

Answer

I dont know what to say to you hun, as a pregnant person this breaks my heart and honestly makes me feel a little bit guilty. I hope you get your baby soon.

Answer

I understand your angry and upset but that person smoking is nothing to do with you! Are you saying because they smoke they shouldn’t be pregnant! I smoked with my children managed to give up with fourth child that doesn’t mean we are any less deserving.

Answer

I was in a six year relationship where we tried for a baby and nothing ever happened. I was upset when my brother had a baby when he never wanted one and got his gf pregnate on a mistake. Then I was with some one for two years we were not trying but we definitely were not careful as I thought I couldn't have children by this point. Still nothing happened. Then my mum died my bf left and I started drinking and had one drunken silly night with a friend and BAM pregnant! I felt like when I stopped thinking about baby's and when I least expected it and was the worst possible timing it happened. Also when my mum was trying she spent so much money on it and they gave up after many tries! But then she got pregnant with no help with twins with no help. My point here is I think the pressure of having a baby can prevent it. And there's hope! I hope your dreams come true! Your not a horrible person!

Answer

Dont be discouraged !!! Your time will come i promise ❤️

Am i a horrible person?

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