**updated with pictures 😁😁

As I sit here with my daughter sleep in my arms and waiting for her papa to get off work, I figured it's a good time to tell my birth story.

My induction date was May 21st, 39w2d due to gestational diabetes. I went in at 7pm that Monday to get everything started. After waiting in registration for damn near 45 minutes due to no fault of the registrar I was finally put into my room. Being my first pregnancy, neither my SO or I really knew how induction worked. We thought we were gonna have a baby that night until we saw the note on the whiteboard saying "prepare for baby tomorrow" we were like WHAT lol

So that night they started the cytotec to soften my cervix which meant no sleep because they come in all the time to check you. I was doing fine just chillin, STARVING. Ain't enough jello or ice chips in the world let me tell you.

The next day, doctor came in early morning to start my pitocin. Everything was fine, contractions were bearable I was in no real pain. My OB came and broke my water around 11am. I was progressing like normal according to the nurses. Idk what the one nurses problem was but when she checked me I was in tears it hurt so bad. I got my epidural at 3cm. I was not playing with them.

The day was slowly but surely going by and no real action. Turn this way, lay that way, okay you're doing good is what I heard all day. Idk what it is but it really does seem like it takes forever to dilate to a 7. I dont remember what time I hit 7cm but after that shit just went fast.

At one point I had to ask if the epidural wore off because I had so much pelvic pressure it was starting to get unbearable. I didnt have to bother with the epidural since getting it so I didnt know of the button to push to give me more pain meds. The nurse showed me and pushed it, I'm like okay I feel it kicking in everywhere else except in my pelvic area. 30 minutes later I pushed the button again, same thing everything else numb except pelvic. I tell the nurses this and they are like okay we can check you. I'm now complete at 10cm. Great right ? No , my doctor had went home and was 20 minutes away from the hospital lol.

So they are like we like to do practice pushes so we can do a few until doc gets here. Okay cool. I did one push and she was like nope that's it we will wait for the doctor because shes right there. Doctor gets there everything gets going. I think I pushed for 10-15 minutes before she was here.

Now, once she was here my doctor was suctioning her and ended up calling some other doctors in. My babys breathing was shallow and not where they wanted it to be. Mommy panic mode in full effect. I'm just sitting on this bed, my SO right there watching all these people whispering while gathering around my baby. I just bust out crying because no one is saying anything to us. While stitching me up (2nd degree tear) my doctor starts reassuring me that shes okay and her breathing is getting better but I didn't want to hear it. I didnt get to hold her for like the first 15 minutes after she was born.

Once they finally put her on my chest , I started crying again because she was so beautiful. Breastfeeding was my goal from day 1, but baby girl decided she didnt like my nipples lol. I was presented with a nipple shield to try and she took to it like a champ. Luckily , still able to BF without the pain, cracked nipples (sorry ladies who deal with that )

Recovery time was going well. She was eating like normal, first poop all that jazz. They came in to do this test and that test. She passed this one, she passed that one. Hearing screening comes up and she fails- I cry. "Its normal for newborns to fail the first one we will retest tomorrow". May 23rd comes, 2nd hearing screening and she fails - I cry. Still normal, okay we will retest in about two weeks. PED appointment before 3rd screening and her doc says from what she can see her ears are fine , she doesn't see her failing again. Two weeks later back for hearing screening, she fails again- I cry. Unfortunately the folks doing the screening cant tell you much except that their test is pass/fail and they cant tell you why they fail.

An appointment was then made with a pediatric audiologist. We go to the appointment yesterday 7/19. July 19,2018 a day that I will never forget. July 19, 2018 the day that I was advised that my perfect daughter appears to have permanent hearing loss in her left ear and moderate hearing loss in her right. July 19, 2018 the day that my entire world shifted gears in a matter of 3 hours. I am now a parent of a child with a disability. I've never cried so much in my entire life , not even when I found out I was pregnant or when she was born.

Disability? Special needs ? Hearing aids? Speech therapy ? What does all this mean ? What will happen to my baby? I wasn't hearing anything the audiologist was saying. All I did was cry and hold my daughter close.

Today, is a new day and do you want to know the answers to yesterdays questions? It means that my daughter is STILL as beautiful as she was when she was born. It means that we still have the same goals for her as we did before July 19, 2018 just with a slight detour due to construction. It means that her father and I will never let her think that she is different or less than anyone else. Lastly, it means that I am a proud parent of a disabled baby. Baby girl you will continue to live your best life and we will do everything we can to make sure of it. I love you for forever and a day mami.

Meet Yuliana Santiago

5/22/18

7lb .5oz 21in long