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5:27 a.m.

Diamond • I dunno

I can feel my eyes tearing up.

But even though I'm alone in the dark, with everyone sleeping...I'm still not going to cry.

So much goes on in my head, I need a vacation from myself.

I feel like an idiot. My phone is on 57%. I really need to get my life together. How many people use this app anyway?

God, I hate myself so much..I should calm down...5 months clean...wow...

I wish I could be one of those girls who are perfect..who have thousands of followers in instagram who idolize and adore them.

Someone please notice me.

Is it bad that I'm ignored so much that I damn near ignore myself?

It's cold.

My scars are going away..

I need sleep..

I should start smoking..or find away to drink more often.

Who in their right mind is actually read this anyway? No one..

I can feel my eyes tearing up.

But even though I'm alone in the dark, with everyone sleeping...I'm still not going to cry.

548 views • 18 upvotes • 8 comments

COMMENT (8)

Ca

Posted at
I know we don't know each other and I read the whole thing and I'm here anytime you need a friend. I know how you feel I've lost two of the most important people in my life and even though I have my fiance and a few great friends I still at times feel very alone. But God has us here for a reason I believe in everything happens for a reason. Please reach out to me anytime you need a friend to talk to the matter what time it is

Ha

Posted at
Baby girl, I know exactly how this is. How it feels to be lonely without your scars, just because they're the only thing that seems constant in your life. Don't be afraid to let your scars leave completely! Scars-are there. They're constant. You trick yourself into believing they love you.Fading scars-you start feeling lonely as you watch them go, because you can still see them, but not quite.Healed skin-it's beautiful. There are no fading reminders. LET YOURSELF EXPERIENCE CLEAN SKIN. I wish there were an easy way to make someone love themselves, and if there is, I certainly don't know it. But. If you ever need a friend, or need to talk to someone DM me on IG. My username is hellahope2257 and I love you. I hope that those 5 months turn into six, then seven, then forever.

AJ

Posted at
I just saw this, I read the whole thing. I know that at times the workd can feel like it is closing in on you...Sometimes it can feel like you are losing control.. control you are not even sure you ever had.You second guess yourself, your life, your family, your existence.You want to throat punch people when they say, "When God closes a door he opens a window"... You think to yourself.. "Yeah, to give you something to jump out of".You have taken the first, hard, step. You are sober. You got clean and you have been clean for months. That, right there, is the sign of a Very Strong Person. Remember that... even when you feel invisible. . When you feel like no one cares, no one knows, and no one would care... People DO care.. People DO love you.. People ARE here for you.Good Luck

Ab

Posted at
I'm truly sorry that you feel like this. 

💬

Posted at
Don't give up. U have already taken the first step which was the hardest! We are here for u!!! Talk to us. You are not the only one in this situation. Hang in there. U r strong!! U chose to reach out as opposed to approaching more harmful ways of coping. Great job

L

Posted at
Sometimes we all need a good cry! U are not alone ! This world might seam cruel but there are people our there like me who care so don't give up !! X

Gi

Posted at
DON'T YOU DARE THINK ABOUT GIVING UP, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! Good job on your sobriety hun, it takes a strong person to be able to walk away from addiction. I know from personal experience how it feels to feel like nobody cares or that you don't belong. I know at times it feels as if things would be better and easier to just pick up a pipe or something and drink or smoke your feelings away BUT I PROMISE YOU IT IS NOT EASIER! Just take things a day at a time and if that's too much then take it a minute at a time. Some progress is better than no progress. I have been sober for over a year now and it's normal to get those kinds of thoughts as long as you don't let them consume you. You are doing great, keep up the good work ♡♡

Ce

Posted at
I read your comments. And 8 other people liked what you said. As in they understand or have been there. You know, it's not a bad thing to cry. Esspecially if it's when everyone's asleep. And you cry quietly.
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