I woke up this morning and tested to see if I was pregnant for probably the millionth time this month already, and suddenly right after my negative result, a light bulb went on. I GIVE UP!! I'm done spending 100s of dollars per month on ovulation kits and preg tests. I can't mentally do it anymore, defiantly not physically, and most of all not financially. I will take a hint lord, it's just not meant to be. I don't know why???? I'm happily married, have a beautiful house and have alot of love to give but I guess it's not enough right now. I'm don't with all the medication, vitex, vitamins, holding back on having a sip of alcohol when I'm on a date with my husband, I'm done with all of it. I'm not going to track anymore, test anymore and sure the hell not going to worry about babies. Because maybe it's not in my path, I have to accept now. Because the longer I fret about a negative pregnancy test, the longer I sit on the couch and cry and lay there and try to sleep in as late at possible so I don't have to face another day of depression, or watching a stroller walk down my sidewalk, or hear a baby cry the longer I will continue to not be the girl I used to be. AND MOST OF ALL ITS NOT FAIR TO THE MAN I LOVE... MY HUSBAND, BECAUSE HE WAS HERE FIRST. SO I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS, BUT LITTLE BABY I GIVE UP. IF YOU COME YOU COME IF YOU DON'T, O WELL.