In-law situation, am I overreacting?!

Question

Hello ladies, 
First time posting here but I could use some advice......
My hubby’s parents are divorced and we have always had some issues with his dad and step mom that have become even more prevalent since we had our son a few months ago. They are the type of people who try to “buy” your love by giving gifts instead of spending time which they have already started doing with our son. 
They came to visit when he was about 1 month old and hardly spent any time with us or him at all, choosing to hang out at their hotel instead. It bothered us at the time but we just sort of tried to let it go. 
Fast forward to now. My husband was talking to them last night ahead of their planned visit to see us in a few weeks. His dad informs us that they will be here about 3 days and they are taking one whole day to go do a day trip to NYC since they semi close (they have been there probably 100 times before). This really bothered me since I thought the whole point of their trip was to visit with us and our new son. 
Am I crazy overreacting or should I say something to them?

Answer

let them do them and y'all do y'all you can't make people do anything other than what they want to do..good luck

Answer

You can’t make people spend time with you if they don’t want to. If they think 2 days out of the 3 with you is good enough, you need to accept that. 
I think hosting people is stressful so I wouldn’t mind if they took a day to go see NYC or if they spent a lot of time in their hotel room. They don’t need to spend every minute with you.

Answer

I see why your upset but they will make the connection they want with your son. You can’t expect them to love him as much as you do. It’s their vacation and tbh baby’s can be boring. They don’t want to sit and stare at him like us moms can.

Answer

You can’t force them to spend a certain amount of time with you guys. They’re adults and will do what they want. If they end up not having a good relationship with your son then that’s on them, not you.

Answer

I do think you are slightly over reacting. People have their own lives that they want to live.

Answer

I think you should say something.. I mean it’s not wrong for you to want to spend all that time with them! Your not overreacting.. at least you want them in your life and hopefully they will see that!!

Answer

Do they live far away? Do they work?

Answer

It's annoying and sometimes hurtful but your son will grow up and realize who is in his life. My MIL lives 45 minutes away and hasn't called or seen my son in 3 months. He sees my parents weekly. I've come to the realization that she's only hurting herself because my son and daughter (she's due in October) will know my family and not her. It hurts me because my husband is clearly hurt/upset by this but there's nothing that can be done.

Answer

Not at all. you probably want your child to know them and have a relationship with them
But I can say this, it's their loss.
If they want to come visit and actually see you guys, I would totally encourage it.
If not, I would just let it go. 
Can't force someone to want to be apart of their families life unfortunately. 
if they aren't around much anyway, your child probably won't even know who they are and it won't leave any affect. At least that's how I see it.
You win some, you lose some. 
in the end I don't think it's worth stressing over or starting anything over. 
I know it can be irritating and upsetting

In-law situation, am I overreacting?!

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