I’m 32 weeks and this whole pregnancy all I’ve been doing is reading and prepping myself for what’s about to come.

I have panic disorder and I’m a hypochondriac. Needles and drugs scare me, due to having a bad reaction to medications before. So I’m worried about my labor process.

I’m hoping for a drug free, vaginal delivery. But I’m constantly worrying about if I have to be induced or c section. I keep myself up at night and panic over all of this.

Sometimes when I get contractions (BH) I have a panic attack and I trick myself into thinking this is it. I’m deathly afraid to give birth.

I’ve heard many stories of moms not surviving after, and just randomly passed due to unseen complications. I’m so worried that will be me 😭

My pregnancy has been smooth so far, but I’m worried something bad will happen because that’s just my luck.

I’m sorry this was so long, I’ve been having trouble trying to get my husband and family to understand me, they all just say it will be different when it actually happens, but I’m in denial and keep thinking I won’t go into labor and that he will just appear magically.