My X So as of today

I have known this man for 14yrs. We have a 12yr son & 3mth old. Just last year I caught him cheating and kicked him out while pregnant. I wanted to work things out with him but he choose to stay with mom. I have been dealing with depression through out my whole pregnancy. I questioned him all the time and it would irritate him even more. Now I miss him more than ever and he knows it so uses it to his advantage.