Love is all i need..

I have a family that loves me in real life and in christ. But i haven't been feeling well. So i like this boy that goes to my church . And since i have such a big heart i fall quickly without knowing who he is and what he likes. I dont know if it's because i've ben cursed with such a big heart. But what about if he doesn't like me. What about if he has someone else in mind. Why do i fall for people so quick without even knowing their lives. I was crying for about 10-15 minutes straight in my bed alone and quietly. I felt like i was shrinking and i felt like my head was being pressed into a box that doesn't fit. I feel so insecure about myself but how do other girls have such confidence in themselves. And now i'm thinkong to myself will i ever find love abd where will i find it . Don't get me wrong God fufills me and all my needs and all my family loves me. But i want someone else aside from my family and God to love me. I really want a boyfriend and i might sound desperate but i really want one. I wanna know how it feels when someone kisses you in the lips. I wanna know how it feels to go out on a date. I wanna know how it feels to makeout. I wanna know everything about love. But am i prepared for this? For me to be abandoned because he got bored of me or found someone else attractive. Am i ready?? All i want is to experience love aside from God and religion and family memebers.