Lost Trust.

Ladies when me and my SO first started, I never accused him of anything I never hold my past on my new bf. So I wasn’t psycho, I always took his word. Never had problems till a year into our relationship I caught him lying.. I never look through his phone till I finally asked to see it and he’s been talking with other females. Nothing sexual or cheating but the reason it was a problem was because he forbid me talking to any guy, and if I did I always told him because I had nothing to hide. He swore up and down how perfect he is and he didn’t need to talk to other girls.. he’s been lying for the whole year..

Now I broke up with him because I felt betrayed, I never accused him nor made our relationship difficult so to see how long he’s been lying for broke me..

2 weeks later he begged and we’ve been together for 5 months since then. The problem is, I’m not the same person. I’m so insecure, I’m afraid he’s going to hurt me again that I don’t trust him talking to girls. (We’ve had problems in the past where his girl friends would test our relationship hence *go in front of him bend over and dance on him* and he would move & won’t say a word. I hate the person I am today, I use to be so happy and trust every word of his. Now.. I’m ugly..

My question is.. will I ever be able to trust him again? I love him so much and if he would’ve never lied I wouldn’t have become such a ugly person. I hate myself- now

Never been so insecure. You know how much it sucks to question your bf every move...

Has your SO ever lost your trust? If so- has he ever regained it?