Impending Divorce. Story and question at end...
It pains me to even be writing this and with eyes full of tears I realize this is where I’m at and this is where life has brought me, whether I like it or not.
I’ve been hopelessly in love with my husband since the day that I laid eyes on him. It’s been almost 7 years since that day and we’ve been through a LOT. The things we’ve been through would’ve broken most people up—no infidelity on either side, but his family is enough to scare away even the most formidable opponent, and somehow they didn’t manage to win. I’m sure they’d be pleased to know it was our own undoing that brought us here.
We had our first child late last year. We’ve had problems that have gone on for ages. I’ve always come up w solutions, as I’m the one that does anything and everything in our lives, and I was the only one ever working at solving the problems. Our relationship has been 90% effort on my end and 10% on his end for as long as I can remember. We’re now at the point that on top of every issue we have, he lost his job 2 months ago and has not even attempted at looking for another one. We’re living off of my 20k savings and he’s sucking me dry and at this point, I have to protect my son. I told my husband that I would’ve lived under a bridge with my him, but now that there’s a baby involved, I cannot put my child through this. I don’t work anymore based on his promise to hold down the fort while I finish law school and pass the bar. He TOLD me to leave my old job, PROMISED me that he would be able to support us and then practically on purpose got himself fired. It’s been almost an entire year since I left my job and I’m now being faced with the choice of staying in law school and taking out loans to LIVE or dropping out and getting a job again bc my husband couldn’t even keep THAT promise.
On top of everything, there’s no intimacy. We’ve struggled with intimacy issues for years and he always says “he’s gonna work on it,” and has never even made the slightest attempt to.
Long story short we have an appointment at a therapist tmrw and its his last hope. Not my last hope bc I’ve already lost all hope.
I’m petrified of divorce. And I don’t even know where to start. I live in FL. Does anyone know or have experience in this? Any advice is welcome.