Are both sides of your (extended) family get equal treatment?

Here is what I mean:

Do you and your partner treat both your side and his side of the family equally when it comes to spending time together (with grandkids) and special events?

I am about to be fed up with my husband to be honest. Everything is always about his family. His aunt is dying from cancer, which is very very sad. We went to see her twice already in the past month, she lives 3 hours away from us. We have two small children together and I am 24 weeks pregnant currently. I do not have a problem going to see his aunt, it was my idea to begin with, because I know of I were here I would want my loved ones to come and be with me. Anyways, my only family here is my mom (I emigrated into this country with her about 8 years ago). A month ago me and my husband invited her to go to a culture festival (from the country we are from - my husband is from the same country too but he was born and raised here). Now, my mil asked me and my husband to ditch my plans with my mom to go to my husband’s uncle’s cottage. That cottage has been in the family since my husband was born. It was originally my husband’s grandfather’s from his mom’s side. The thing is I feel like I always end up loosing the battle and my mom is sad because she is always left out. The only time I see her is when I take the kids to her place during the week when she is not working but she is never part of anything that we do. I even had to go and spend mother’s day with my mil even tho I was pregnant and I have kids too. I just feel like I can’t win and make everyone see how this is making me feel. I tried to talk to my husband about this but he turns my words around and makes it seem like I don’t ever do anything with his family.

Sorry I need to complain a bit because this is making me sad. How can I tell my mom “sorry we ditched you again” because my husband won’t take no for an answer without arguing and making me feel shitty.

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