I cheated on my fiancé 😕

I’m 20 and my fiancé is 23. We have been together for 4 years. For the last 6 months or so we haven’t been getting along great. Not much sex, no dates or long talks. It’s just the same routine over and over.

That’s not an excuse at all, but it’s something I wanted to bring up for later in this story.

Anyways I had a guy message me one night last week. He was an old friend and at first we talked normally. Just like, “how are you” etc etc. no flirting. Anyways he started complimenting me and telling me I was beautiful and idk guys. I fell into temptation and starting flirting back. We even talked about meeting up to have sex. I’m so ashamed.

Well a couple of days later we were supposed to meet up, and I felt like shit and felt so guilty so I told him I didn’t want to anymore and I cancelled it and blocked him. I knew I had to tell my fiancé. So last night I finally built up the courage and told him.

He was fucking pissed (as expected) at first, then he left and went to a bar with his friend, he came back drunk as hell and laid in bed and he thought I was sleeping but I heard him crying. He’s a very “manly man” and I have never heard or seen him cry before. I have never felt like such a shitty person in my life.

This morning he woke up and before he went into work he got me up and asked to talk. I figured he was going to tell me we were over. I had already told my mom I would probably need to stay with her for a couple of months before I could move out again.

But nope. He told me he wants to work on things. He said this is a one time thing, and if I ever break his trust or cheat again he will not give me another chance.

Anyways now I need to know what we should do from here. Should we look into relationship counseling or something?? We want to fix everything. And go back to having sex and actually loving each other. We both agreed like we feel like roommates instead of a couple.

Idk. I’ve never cheated before and nobody has ever cheated on me. I’m not sure how to fix this 😕 Obviously I will never do it again. We both just want to work on our relationship and we aren’t sure where to start. Has anyone else been through this?

*** obviously, the engagement is off for now. Forgot to mention. ***