When I took my third pregnancy test at home the other day, I walked nervously to the toilet, grasping the pregnancy test in my hand, questioning myself if I should even attempt another one. I just felt so much exhaustion, nervousness and doubt & hopefulness, in my mind all at once. That’s a lot to have on your mind all at once.

But, the moment I walked in there, it made me think of you girls, my “glow girls” I like to call you all in the same tone as that song “Let’s go girls” by Shania Twain. I know, I’m funny.

But in all seriousness I know I’m not alone, whenever I’m going through the two week wait, whenever I have to test, whenever I get yet another negative, whenever I have my cycle I know I’m not alone.

When I walked into the bathroom this particular time to take a test I thought to myself “I’m not the only one” I know somewhere, out there in the world thousands would be doing the exact same thing as me or going through the exact same thing as me.

I never thought it would be this hard to get pregnant, I’m at 7 months TTC after having my Mirena IUD taken out, I thought once it was removed that this was it, it’ll all be up hill from here, sunshine & rainbows but it wasn’t. It was far from anything beautiful.

I read about other girls 1 year or 2 years or even longer TTC stories.

My heart absolutely breaks for every single one of you who are trying their best to conceive.

But please know this...

I am beyond happy when I see a pregnancy test that is positive for someone else, my heart blooms to know someone finally got what they have been praying for. No matter how long you have been trying to conceive, you never belittle someone who got a positive test because you have no idea how long it took them to get there.

But for my girls who are still trying, please know that...

I am with you when you check how many DPO you are.

I am with you when you google symptoms.

I am with you when you check on the <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">glow app</a> your DPO symptoms and compare them to someone else’s.

I am with you when you unwrap & grasp your pregnancy test and walk into the bathroom.

I am with you when you question if this is one too many tests.

I am with you when you realise your phone has permanently got a timer set on 3 minutes.

I am with you when you realise that you were in this exact spot 1 month ago.

I am with you when you realise it actually wasn’t JUST 1 month ago, it’s actually been months.

I am with you when you awkwardly aim.

I am with you when you anxiously wait for your wee to fill up the window of the pregnancy test and do that dreaded 3 minute wait.

I am with you when your hands are in front of your face and you peep through the cracks but also simultaneously look away.

I am with you when you are too scared to look.

I am with you when you pray and hope.

I am with you if it’s all been too much this month and you cry.

I am with you when you get a negative.

I am with you when you can’t figure out if this is spotting or your period coming.

I am with you when you get the cramps and you aren’t sure if it’s implantation or your period coming.

I am with you when your period comes.

I am with you when you didn’t think you’ll be needing new tampons/pads this month.

I am with you when you have to grab another tampon/pad.

I am with you when you have to deal with another period.

I am with you when you have to try again.

I am with you.