Feeling discouraged

Few days ago I toke a pregnancy test and it had a fainted line , then I toke a digital and it say negative and I ended up taking 9 test and about 5 of them you could see a fainted line then the rest started to go even lighter to nothing, finally few days late I toke a digital and it was negative. So I have came to accept that but now I honestly feel so down about trying :( I’m breastfeeding my 9 month old and only had this month and next to try since I don’t want to be a pregnant bride next year in August.

How do stay positive after all those test, specially when I got my hopes up :(