Coping with other death during pregnancy

A few of you know I lost my best friend in March due to amniotic fluid embolism. It is STILL un-real that she is gone. Does anybody have advice about dealing with your own pregnancy, knowing your best friend DIED during labor??? Every milestone has me convinced I'm getting closer to my last days. I feel like a due date is a countdown. Idk. Maybe I'm just hormonal AND dealing with not having closure, & not having her here anymore 😔 I don't know how to deal & no therapist does either because this is so intense and rare & that was not supposed to happen.