Let's flip it. Is it OK for a married man to have a vasectomy without informing his wife?

Question

(Assuming a hypothetical heterosexual relationship.) How would you feel if your partner did this to you?

Answer

I don't agree with " it's my body, my choice" in a marriage. Especially for big changes that affect both. Abortions, tubal ligation, vasectomy etc. You should always discuss these with your partner before you proceed. They have the right to know, you're married for a reason. They can either accept you or leave you based on your choice, that is fine. People need to do what makes them happy.

Answer

No. Still wrong. What's the point of being in a partnership if you aren't going to act as partners by excluding your partner out of very very important decisions that affect your partnership?

Answer

I feel the same way as in the other situation. Yes, he SHOULD tell his wife, as the wife SHOULD tell the husband, but neither of them have to.  HOWEVER, it is his body, it is his decision. She shouldn't be able to force him to have children just as he shouldn't be able to force her. Keeping it a secret in either scenario would not lead to a healthy relationship, but body autonomy is important.

Answer

No. Childbearing/avoiding pregnancy is the right and responsibility to make as a married COUPLE. Neither one should be making these kind of decisions without having their spouse involved in the process.

Answer

He should talk to his wife first. They should be on the same page. Major decisions like this or an abortion should be made together. If they can't communicate with each other why are they married!?

Answer

I think it's ultimately his decision to make. However, when the wife wants to go to the doc after trouble TTC, it's probably going to come to light and at that point she gets to make a decision about whether she wants to remain in the relationship if there is no/low chance of future kids. Likewise, if a wife gets an abortion without telling her husband and he later finds out and isn't fine with it, there's no reason he has to stay. People have choices. Choices have consequences. It's up to the person making the decision to figure out who the key stakeholders are and whether they should be included in the decision making process.

Answer

No no no!

Answer

No, of course not. Everything should be discussed in a marriage.

Answer

Here is where I think the difference lies. An abortion stops one potential child. A vasectomy stops any chance of a child forever. As much as I think in a healthy relationship both should be discussed, men and women are both subject to reproductive coercion, so I'm unwilling to say never.

Answer

I want another baby and my SO wants to get vasectomy. So we agree on one more baby when I daughter is 5 or 7 then he can have one.

Let's flip it. Is it OK for a married man to have a vasectomy without informing his wife?

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