I know y’all are probably saying “change it” but how do you know if you should? I’m 23, I had a hard start to life but managed to get on my feet, buy my own car, get a place and a job by myself. I went to counseling for years, fought through PTSD and depression, nearly died a couple times.

I’m currently married to a man that I think was a mistake and the relationship makes me miserable. He is begging for another chance to change, see counselors, etc. but I don’t know if I even love him anymore. I find him very unattractive in every way and he can be emotionally volatile. I was in a vulnerable state when I met him and I planned a lot of my life around him. I’m pursuing a doctoral degree but once I get it in a couple years, I could move anywhere I like. I have had this weird pull to move to a specific state for a long time but it doesn’t make sense. I’m just so confused about what to do now and I feel stuck. I see other people living lives they love and I envy them. I want to feel free and like I am doing what makes me happy with the right person.