Wanting to lose virginity

Trigger warning💔:

I see all these very young girls who want to lose their virginity. When they are 13, 14, just very young in my opinion. I didnt even think about sex until I turn 15, but that was against my own will. I didn't have the privilege to lose my virginity to someone I loved, someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I was raped, so many times, everytime I didn't want to, I would tell him no, he made me feel so uncomfortable, I just wanted him to stop. If I would just sit there he would hit me, because I wasn't enjoying it, I wasn't appreciating him. If I got pregnant it was my fault, he threatened to beat me and the baby to death. He scared me, he made me feel unsafe. To point I would shake everytime I would see him, I still freeze into panic mode and sometimes I will have a panic attack or even a mental breakdown. If you are a young girl reading this thinking about losing your virginity, please wait, make it special because not everyone had that opportunity.