Labor and Episiotomy?

I'm not 100% sure how I am going to deliver yet I still have 5 months to go. But I am terrified of the Whole going into labor thing and whether or not to get an episiotomy mostly because I have a very low tolerance for any kind of discomfort and pain in general. My mother doesn't help because all she does is say "epidural will give you major back problems in the future I didn't have one" "you have to get an episiotomy because you'll tear really badly and need 234 stitches inside out". So I'm freaking out and my husband is supportive of whatever I want to do. I'm just so nervous and scared and honestly sometimes I cry because I have no one to talk to that doesn't tell me I'm acting stupid or giving me helpful advice and talking to me how a normal person should. Considering this is my first child. So any past birth mothers please help me to understand and not feel like I've made a mistake.