Don’t like oral-but want to

I don’t like giving head to my DH. I feel bad because I know the few times I have, he loves it! I don’t expect him to return the favor, or even go down on me because I feel it’s not fair if I don’t to him. I feel like a little girl being grossed out about it and I know it’s a good way of intimacy and that he loves it . Tips on how to make it easier, enjoyable for ME? How to initiate it without feeling awkward?